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ML's avatar

My heart is both broken and full after reading this essay. Thank you for always going to the "good side" of life.

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Alice V's avatar

Very very touching! Thank you, once again, for providing a continuing perspective on kindness!

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Julie T Byers's avatar

Bless you, Amy. The kindness of strangers indeed...for every bad, horrible, rotten person that abuses your life, there are 10 fold of those who make you forget the others. Thank you for the reminder.

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Kathie Stein's avatar

this essay was so... profound. Thank you for showing the world that kindness still wins - that Kindness and Compassion are found everywhere if only we look for it and accept it.Thank you also for opening up and sharing your experiences - I'm glad you were able to forgive your Father and be with him at the end so he wasn't alone. This example in a world that seems to want to condemn and alienate someone for their sins, this is a good lesson for us all.

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Debra's avatar

Aww Amy, I had a similar ( but slightly different ) scenario when my father got sick and passed. I think that many of us share the experience of strangers kindness when we are struggling thru life experiences. Love that you were able to share. Blessings!

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Lori Furth's avatar

This one had me in tears pretty quickly. The little parts of our world where we witness humanity and true caring while big parts of this world seem chaotic are often overlooked and under appreciated. Thank you for this one so, so much.

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

HI Lori -- I cried when I wrote it, again when I read it. Thank YOU for reading...

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Mary E. Gartland's avatar

Amy, you are too much. And I have about twenty things to say in response. Including tales from my trip to Buffalo, December 2021. And the strangers who healed me and my brother through dire times. I'll catch you later and sending xo for all that you are and do. MEG

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Elaine's avatar

I love reading about your relationship with your accumulated stuff. So I was thinking about you when I decided to tackle a closet full of my accumulated stuff. I am a retired RN and one box held letters and cards from as far back as 40 and 50 years ago thanking me for care and kindnesses I no longer even remember. Often my mistakes and failures overwhelm me and I feel so guilty. I am grateful to those patients and families who took the time to express their appreciation to me. From all those years ago they remind me that I did make a difference. Thank you for taking the time to express your gratitude to these amazing care givers who made a difference in your life .

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

This is such a beautiful tribute to your career of service. I'm so glad you unearthed these expressions of gratitude.

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ROSEANN MEZZACAPPA's avatar

Your story really hit home for me. After my dad passed in 2019 my Mom who I never really had a good relationship because of the way she treated me( badly my whole life) fell apart! She had no one but me. Of course I took care of her, I wouldn't have had it any other way. After a short time of caring for her she started to tell me everyday thank you for being a kind and loving daughter and for taking care of her. It has been a year now that my mom passed( she was only 78) she got COVID and passed suddenly, she wasn't really sick at all. I really miss her dearly and I truly wish our relationship had been different!

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

My father also expressed his gratitude very sweetly toward the end. I'm sure it was the only time in his life when he'd done that; I was happy to receive it.

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roberta oster's avatar

Oh Amy, how much do I love this column ? Let me count the ways:

It’s the small stuff that counts, the moments that for most people go unnoticed, but for you, they shine. Expressing gratitude without saccharine sweet language, instead you describe what someone did, not what they said. Coming full circle by saying goodbye and hello at the same time. And then coming back five years later to say “hello” again and “I remember you” and “Here’s how your act of kindness impacted me.” Forgiveness. You show your readers how to forgive when the pain is everlasting. Amy, I cannot count the ways I’d like to thank you because your stories live with me forever and I refer back to them during trying times when I need to be uplifted or inspired. I offer infinite thank you’s for sharing your stories with me and the world.

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

Roberta -- you and I were very lucky to find each other all those years ago; I'm so happy our stories are so intertwined through the decades! xo

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Virginia Coury's avatar

I love your columns and your insight Amy. As a retired nurse, with a daughter who is a nurse, it feels good to be remembered kindly by our patient's family members. I know what it is like to have a parent who was wanting. We can only control our own behaviors, not the behaviors of others. You realized you could break that cycle and that your obligation was to yourself; to be the best you could be. That is all anyone can do, don't you agree? What an amazing thing grace is!

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

Amazing grace, indeed. Thank you, Virginia.

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Toby Dean's avatar

Wow, what a story. Amy and Railey Well Done!

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

Thank you, Toby!

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Susan's avatar

As a retired RN, "The Kindness of Strangers" reminds me that some of the most rewarding nursing care I provided was to dying patients and their families...I felt blessed to be a small part of their living and dying, a fully human experience. Bless you!

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

No doubt your patients were very lucky to have you by their side (and on their side) at the end. Thank you for your career of caring for others.

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Mary E. Gartland's avatar

Amy, I was just talking about you to a friend who could appreciate the profundity of our connection, and then you signaled! You are a miracle worker publishing such great material and forging connections with so many. I am turning into a post-er! M

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Joan Dickinson Hager's avatar

This was an excellent edition of your weekly connection to us. (Except…where’s Emily?) Your vigil at your dad’s side, the appreciated kindness of strangers, resonate with me. Having to explain to our postal clerk why I greet her with “Stellllllaaaaa” each time I see her. And then Railey’s recollection of the death of her brother nearly destroying her - all the writing filled me with…feelings. Thank you all.

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

Thank you for always being so supportive! It really makes a difference to us.

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ANNE GREEN's avatar

I wept reading this. Your week in Buffalo reminded me of my sister's and my less than 12 hours in Augusta GA where our almost 99 year old father died in the "Burn Unit in Augusta," a place name familiar to people in South Carolina and southeast Georgia. Even in that short period we experienced kindness from the on-call doctor and the head nurse who waited at a picnic table by the parking lot for us to arrive late at night by car. Our dad (a good one) had been flown there. The nurse caring for him was appropriately named "Angel."

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Amy Dickinson's avatar

OK now I'm crying. Again. Lovely.

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