One Good Thing

Putting a Stamp on It

{I bought a roll of “forever” stamps at 45 Cents!}

Corresponding

Every year I tell myself that I’m going to write more letters. I have a few people who faithfully correspond with me through the mail (some of you are subscribers here, and you know who you are — and I do, too!), and of course I receive many dozens of letters each week from people who are asking me for advice.

{Last week’s Ask Amy postal mail …}

A lot of this mail is from people who are extremely VEXED by things I wrote several months ago.

Speaking of which:

Watch this fun and brief compendium of Jane Austen reading her hate mail (courtesy British comedian Eleanor Morton).

Receiving personal letters is such a boost.

But writing a letter, afixing the stamp, and having the joy of posting it is a sensual joy. And knowing a letter will take some time to make it to its recipient extends the sensation.

It’s a tiny bit like that feeling I get just before someone unwraps a gift.

[Actual footage of me at the mailbox]

My mother wrote great letters. After her funeral, a number of guests stepped forward and — having brought letters with them — they read sections (some from many years ago) aloud. It was a completely spontaneous sharing.

Oh, how Jane (my mom) would have loved that. Oh, how I did love that. WHAT JOY.

I could easily type and print a letter on my cheapo printer …

… but I prefer to write on nice stationary and cards — in longhand. Despite this preference, I once wrote a letter to my daughter on the paper placemat from a cafe in Venice. FANCY!

{Photo … and letter … by Amy}

As I get older and my handwriting grows spindlier, my notes aren’t as visually nice as they once were, but I do like the way handwriting — anyone’s handwriting — looks on paper.

{My longest running correspondence is with my childhood friend, Kirk: we have sent letters and postcards back and forth for around 50 years}

{And yes, I have written at least one note to my friend’s cat}

I could write a guide on what I think makes a good letter, suggesting phrases, tone and pacing, but evidently that guide already exists, and it seems quite amazing.

Below is a quoted passage from my favorite newsletter: Letters of Note, which is a wonderful weekly compendium of letters or portions of letters that I subscribe to (and you should, too! Author Shaun Usher offers the option of a free or a paid subscription).

There’s a brilliant book titled Personal Letterworks, written by Judi Barton and Nate Rosenblatt, published in 1994, that is essentially a collection of pre-written letters for just about any situation you can imagine. From the awkward apologies needed when your pet wreaks havoc at a friend's house, to the delicate words required to address personal grievances, this book covers a lot of ground, and it covers it well. My favourite part, however, is the contents section at the front—an evocative list of pretty much every conceivable social faux pas, complaint, and heartfelt sentiment one might need to express in a letter. The following is just a fraction.

Apologies

• Sorry My Child Misbehaved

• Sorry My Pet Caused Trouble

• Sorry I Spoiled Your Party

• Sorry I Was out of Town for Your Award

• Sorry I Burned a Hole in Your Sofa

• Sorry I Drank Too Much

• Sorry I Blamed You for Something You Didn’t Do

• Sorry I Lied to You

• Sorry I Misunderstood Your Intentions

• Sorry I Started a Fight

Complaints

• Your Lawn Needs Mowing

• Don’t Use Our Pool Without Permission

• You Forgot to Return My Tools

• Your Dog’s Barking Keeps Me Awake

Family and Friends

• Dear Mom and Dad, My Grades Were Awful

• Dear Mom and Dad, I’m Pregnant

• Dear Mom and Dad, Please Send Money

• It’s Your Turn to Take Care of Grandma

• Remove the Furniture You Have Stored in My Basement

Introductions and References

• I’m the Child You Gave Up for Adoption

• I’m Your Biological Mother

Sensitive Issues

• Stop Stalking Me

• I’m Having an Affair with Your Wife

• Stop Seeing My Husband

• You’re a Bigot

• Your Coaching Style Is Destructive

• You Didn’t Understand My Needs

• My Guests Felt Snubbed by You

• You Set a Bad Example for My Children

• I Won’t Lend You Money

• I Won’t Let You Borrow My Dress

• I Won’t Support Your Addiction

Sadly, this wonderful book is out of print. WHY???!!!

I’ve been writing occasional letters to my two granddaughters for about the last 10 years, when they left our area and moved to Florida. I knew they would enjoy my newsy letters (mainly about my own misadventures and the various doings of our pets), but when I went to visit the girls and saw that they had put my letters to them into a BINDER, with each letter assigned to its own plastic sleeve, I was so happy that they also valued these silly missives from me.

Overall, my letters to them reveal not where I am in life, but where they are in life, because the topics and tone have changed as they have grown.

My correspondence to the girls has drifted off over the last couple of years, in part because my own focus has been scattered.

In all this time, I’ve never received a letter back from them.

And then yesterday, just as I was writing this newsletter, my husband and I received this:

A lovely, newsy letter from our granddaughter.

Looks like I may have to start a binder!

I hope you write — or receive — a love letter this week.

Until then, let this be mine … to you.

Love,

Amy